No you can have aerating tomorrow on half a days notice! No you can't see all 4 projects next week, you only fed back yesterday! Your golden boy left the business, I look after your pathetic little account know and you're not my priority, I have other clients who pay big boy money! I'm right, you're wrong! You came to me because you don't have the answer, or even the right question, so listen to me!
Wednesday 11 September 2013
Clients pick thier moments!
Why is it that every time I leave the damn office for a day putting up with one client, talking branding and design rubbish, that all the others suddenly decide to get in touch after weeks and months say bugger all!
Sunday 19 May 2013
Victim of Train Crime!
So, I was the victim of crime this week. I'd had an early morning start, up at 5am and on my way from London to Manchester for a 10am meeting.
Needless to say, by my return to London for 17:00 I was already exhausted! But it was my great friend and colleagues 31st. Nope, not a 'biggy' in the birthday world, but I've never turned down having a drink for a friend before. I'd stay for one... yeah right!
It's almost midnight, birthday boy already gone. Time to get my sorry ass home ready for the last day of the week, plenty to do and another Manchester trip first thing Monday. I'm on the train, and obviously fall asleep; a person having had a little more forethought, or less drink might have realised this was about to happen.
Maybe now is a good time to add that my agency had only the day before give me my company iPhone, great, now I had two phones to carry around mid week! Well, make the most of it, my Beats Tour were made for the iPhone! There be my mistake!
Some, and excuse me here, CUNT clearly saw me early on in the journey home.. iPhone and beats.. together with a sleepy and intoxicated young London professional!
And... snooze! Grab, pull, elbow me in the face as the doors opened and fucking gone! before i knew what had happened I had a saw jaw, walked off the train shaken and god knows where missing my beats and a brand new iPhone.
Confused, pissed off and practically lost given my alcohol level the MET Police where an utter disgrace!
Anyway, it's now Sunday night and i've spent all weekend on my own trying, unsuccessfully to forget all this. But I know I've got to go into work tomorrow and have all my (albeit, loving) colleagues ask me if I'm OK and what happened. I feel sick, desperate, and I've got this weird feeling... there's a flip knife in my bedside draw that I keep for, well you know (I don't have a baseball bat!). It looks inviting!
Then I realise, WTF (thanks text social world!)! What the fuck is going through my head! and over something so trivial in retrospect. It's the effect of feeling violated! I was asleep when some criminal stole from my pocket and smacked me int he face!
For all of those whom have suffered far worse, I get you incense at my naive moment of insanity, even in thought only! It hit me, if i can have this feeling, over this (possibly I have a problem) but more importantly you have it so much worse, and I can't be forgiven equally as much as the bastart who stole from me.
Life is worth so much more!
Needless to say, by my return to London for 17:00 I was already exhausted! But it was my great friend and colleagues 31st. Nope, not a 'biggy' in the birthday world, but I've never turned down having a drink for a friend before. I'd stay for one... yeah right!
It's almost midnight, birthday boy already gone. Time to get my sorry ass home ready for the last day of the week, plenty to do and another Manchester trip first thing Monday. I'm on the train, and obviously fall asleep; a person having had a little more forethought, or less drink might have realised this was about to happen.
Maybe now is a good time to add that my agency had only the day before give me my company iPhone, great, now I had two phones to carry around mid week! Well, make the most of it, my Beats Tour were made for the iPhone! There be my mistake!
Some, and excuse me here, CUNT clearly saw me early on in the journey home.. iPhone and beats.. together with a sleepy and intoxicated young London professional!
And... snooze! Grab, pull, elbow me in the face as the doors opened and fucking gone! before i knew what had happened I had a saw jaw, walked off the train shaken and god knows where missing my beats and a brand new iPhone.
Confused, pissed off and practically lost given my alcohol level the MET Police where an utter disgrace!
Anyway, it's now Sunday night and i've spent all weekend on my own trying, unsuccessfully to forget all this. But I know I've got to go into work tomorrow and have all my (albeit, loving) colleagues ask me if I'm OK and what happened. I feel sick, desperate, and I've got this weird feeling... there's a flip knife in my bedside draw that I keep for, well you know (I don't have a baseball bat!). It looks inviting!
Then I realise, WTF (thanks text social world!)! What the fuck is going through my head! and over something so trivial in retrospect. It's the effect of feeling violated! I was asleep when some criminal stole from my pocket and smacked me int he face!
For all of those whom have suffered far worse, I get you incense at my naive moment of insanity, even in thought only! It hit me, if i can have this feeling, over this (possibly I have a problem) but more importantly you have it so much worse, and I can't be forgiven equally as much as the bastart who stole from me.
Life is worth so much more!
Monday 25 March 2013
Paint covered builders...
Somebody needs to do it, its a skilled job, decently paid and as them enduring all weathers. Perfectly respectable.
But is it acceptable for them to not only sit in their paint and filth covered jeans on a train seat, bit also to force their unhealthy the looking wide frames between the rest of us?
Wednesday 20 March 2013
Open doors and arms again!
Malala Yousafzai... Don't get me completely wrong here, I think this young girl is incredible in her defiant fight against inequality in her homeland, an inspiration.
However, for a start, she has not "taken on the Taliban and won"! If this were the case, my younger brother would not currently be serving his third tour in Afghanistan on behalf of OUR Queen and country.
To my real complaint here; why once again was it Britain who opened their arms and welcomed this girl here for treatment? Perhaps, because we can provide far better medical treatment? Possibly. But that still leaves me wondering why the rest of the world didn't even offer to bring her to their countries.
Now though, now I'm really hacked off! It turns out today, the day that our Chancellor announces another £2.5billon cuts, that Malala has just begun schooling here in the UK, a girls school in Birmingham, at cost to the British Government! Fucking Marvellous!
Her dad has found work here, but I can guarantee that he is receiving benefits too, on top of his daughters education.
Malala, you are no longer taking your fight for the right of all women to be educated to the Taliban. You are simply another immigrant taking hand outs from a Government that can't keep a lid on its economy anyway!
Now that you're healthy, fuck off back where you came from and continue you your inspirational fight properly!
However, for a start, she has not "taken on the Taliban and won"! If this were the case, my younger brother would not currently be serving his third tour in Afghanistan on behalf of OUR Queen and country.
To my real complaint here; why once again was it Britain who opened their arms and welcomed this girl here for treatment? Perhaps, because we can provide far better medical treatment? Possibly. But that still leaves me wondering why the rest of the world didn't even offer to bring her to their countries.
Now though, now I'm really hacked off! It turns out today, the day that our Chancellor announces another £2.5billon cuts, that Malala has just begun schooling here in the UK, a girls school in Birmingham, at cost to the British Government! Fucking Marvellous!
Her dad has found work here, but I can guarantee that he is receiving benefits too, on top of his daughters education.
Malala, you are no longer taking your fight for the right of all women to be educated to the Taliban. You are simply another immigrant taking hand outs from a Government that can't keep a lid on its economy anyway!
Now that you're healthy, fuck off back where you came from and continue you your inspirational fight properly!
Tuesday 19 March 2013
That's my foot!
When I step onto a busy tube train, train or bus or more precisely, walk down between the seats; I always look down and, best I can, avoid feet bags and trailing coats.
So, why is it that the majority of my fellow passengers seem unable to avoid my feet!? I don't have big feet... Depending on the brand mens 9 or 10. I prepare to respond with my 'that's my foot, you moron' face and raise my eyes above my paper. Only then do I see their glaring look, stunned at the fact I'VE just tried THEM up!
What the hell is the matter with these people!? It's a simple rule, thought to the majority of us as very young children... Watch where you're going!
Sunday 17 March 2013
Public ball scratcher...
Why in gods name does the guy opposite me feel the need to scratch his balls the whole tube ride home?! How can he plausibly think that this is ok?! What has happened to public decency...?
Friday 15 March 2013
Clients!!!
FOR GODS SAKE!!! I am a graphic designer! I am not your Microsoft Word and PowerPoint helpline! In fact, we as a group hate Microsoft and Microsoft Office, It is not a design tool!
Once you have your beautiful new design identity, it is up to you to manage it's use based on the guidelines I have you, I am not going to make sure every marketing chart you need looks like it came from the same hand!
Once you have your beautiful new design identity, it is up to you to manage it's use based on the guidelines I have you, I am not going to make sure every marketing chart you need looks like it came from the same hand!
Newspaper Ink!
In 2013 isn't it possible to print Newspapers with ink that doesn't leave me looking like i've being playing with charcoal all the way to work! Leaving finger prints on the tube rails that would be a CSIs dream!
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